Crusniks Trinity Babble
by crusnik O2
Summary: These are just random little things me and my friends made when we were bored...you have been warned! Its RANDOM and CRAZY! XD rated T for mild language...
1. Chapter 1

AN- Hey there! Its Crusnik here, and its time for some Trinity babble! This is just some REALLY RANDOM stuff with me and my friends talking about/role playing Trinity Blood...hehe...

WARNING- THIS IS REALLY WEIRD!!!!

Disclaimer- I do not own Trinity Blood blah blah blah...though I do hold my friends lives in my hands while I'm here!!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!

**'these are actions' **

* * *

**Fuzzy Golden Potato**

Crusnik: PONCHO!?

Troy: Is dead.

Troy: I eat him.

Crusnik: O.O

Crusnik: ACK!

Troy: I are his retarded evil twin kwizalski!

Crusnik: what the fuck...?

Troy: Now...I eat YOU!! BWUHAHAHAHAHA!

Crusnik: NEVER!!!! **'pulls out a silver dagger'**

Troy: I am immune to silver! HAHAHA!

Crusnik: **'transforms into a vampire that eats other vampires, aka a crusnik'**

Troy: For the only thing that can kill me is a fuzzy golden potato!!

Crusnik: **'a blood scythe forms in my hand as I growl at troy'**

Crusnik: Huh...? A...potato...?

Troy: Thats right! What you gonna do now!?

Crusnik: **'pulls out a fuzzy golden potato'** HA! I just happen to have one on me!

Crusnik: **'attacks troy with the Fuzzy golden potato'**

THE END

* * *

**(AN- Kikki is me, and Abels still a priest...he just doesn't live in the Vatican anymore...every one he knew back then is dead, its year 3090. and Kayla's a friend)**

**Random happenings in the house of Abel, and I mean RANDOM...**

Kikki- **'Kikki walks into the room to find Kayla sitting on the bed with her big brother Abel 'talking' '** uhh...well now...umm...I'll just leave you two to...uhh..what ever it was you were doing...

Abel- **'gasp!'** Oh uhh...Kikki! what are you doing home so early...?

Kikki- **'gives Abel 'the look' 'sigh'**...So you finally scored one huh? Shes not that bad looking **'smiles'**

Abel- **'starts blushing'** Oh dear lord...its not what you think!!!

Kayla- O.O uhh...Abel...who's this?

Abel- This is my little sister...Kikki...

Kayla: **'tilts head slightly'** Oh, nice to meet you. **'Turns to Abel'** I didn't know you had another sister...

Abel- ya well...hehe...I guess I forgot to mention her...

Kikki- **'glares'** You...forgot to tell her about ME!? But you told her about Seth and Cain...didn't you?

Abel- **'sweat drops'** maybe...

Kikki- **'twitchy eye'** I'M THE ONE WHO LIVES IN THE SAME HOUSE AS YOU!!!!

Kayla-** 'sweat drops'** now now Kikki...I'm sure he had his reasons...and speaking of Seth...were is she now Abel...?

Abel- huh? oh! uhh...I don't really know...she was here some were **'looks around'**...why?

Seth- **'pops out of no were'** Hi!!!

**'everyone stares at her with wide eyes'**

O.O

O.O

O.O

Seth- ...what?

Abel- CCAAIINN!!!!!!

Seth- **'turns around to see Cain right behind her'** O.O** 'she sees Cain making a kissy face...she faints'**

Kayla- **'Holding Abel back trying to keep him from killing Cain'** Abel...Calm down!

Abel- CCCAAAIIINNN!!!!!!

Seth- **'not gonna be waking up any time soon...' **(shes scared out of her mind from the face Cain made...)

Cain- hmm? Hello my dearest little brother! how have you been? **'tilts head slightly to the side and genitally smiles'**

Abel- CAIN!!! I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!

Kikki- O.O umm...uhh...dam we are one WEEEAARD family...

Kayla- O.O **'Abel got out and is now trying to kill Cain'** I'm with you on that one...

THE END

* * *

AN- Thats the first chapter of Trinity Babble!!! Its just me and my friends (as I said earlier) fooling around on MSN and YIM...sorry if you don't like me posting this...but I don't care what you think if you think like that!!! XD This is just meant for laughs and nothing more... 'insert evil laughter here'

**_crusnik_**


	2. Chapter 2

AN- GUUUUESS WHAT! IM BACK! AND I BROUGHT MORE FRIENDS! THIS CHAPTER IS---EMILY! WELCOME EMILY, YOU HAVE NOW ENTERED THE WORLD OF CRAZYNESS, IF YOU WISH TO LEAVE NOW...I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO KILL YOU WERE YOU STAND, OPS FORGOT TO TURN CAPS OFF, sorry everyone! That also includes Troy and Kayla, once you come...you may never leave!!!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!

Disclaimer and such can be found on the first chapter.

* * *

**This is actions**

**((this is me and my friend Emily talking to each other about whats going on))**

_this is the person who is talkings name_

* * *

**Random Skittles**

_Crusnik:_ TROY!!! BRING IT OUT!!

_Emily:_ **puts on her WTF face**

**A giant semi of skittles comes around the corner**

_Emily:_ **big eyes**

_Emily:_ SKITTLES!

_Emily_: I HEART YOU!

**Troy jumps out of the truck**

_Troy:_ What do you want with me? and the evil fuzzy golden potato...

_Emily_: **giggles**

_Emily:_ **pulls out said potato**

_Troy_: OH NO!!!! ITS THE FUZZY GOLDEN POTATO!!!! RUNNN!!!!

**runs away leaving a truck of skittles behind, with the keys still in the truck**

_Emily_: **drops potato, puts on WTF face, dives into Skittles**

_Crusnik_: care to go for a drive? **jumps in drivers seat**

_Emily_: **mouth full of Skittles** YEAH!

_Emily:_ **((We're such nerds))**

_Crusnik_: were to go...

_Crusnik:_ **((I know...))**

_Crusnik:_ how bout the Vatican?

_Emily_: Yeah!

_Emily:_ **chanting** VAT-I-CAN!

**_we arrive at the Vatican_**

_Abel:_ Oh my...who do we hav---ARE THOSE SKITTLES!? **mouth watering**

_Emily:_ **protectively** MY SKITTLES BITCH!

_Emily:_ **((I actually say that at school if I have Skittles))**

_Crusnik:_ **((Skittles are a 2000 thing, there not really a 3060 thing...))**

_Emily:_ **((I know.))**

_Abel:_ B-But! I haven't had skittles in over 900 years!!!!

_Esther:_ Ok, father, I thought you were old, but not THAT old!

_Emily:_ **reluctantly** oh, fine, you can have a third. Crusnik gets a third, too.

_Crusnik:_ how does that work...?

_Emily:_ Abel gets a third, you get a third, I get a third.

_Crusnik:_ ...

_Crusnik:_ OK then...what about Esther?

_Emily:_ Okay, fourths.

_Abel_: Esther doesnt need any! She doesnt even know what they are anyway! I want hers!

_Emily:_ Troy doesn't get any cuz he ran from me.

_Troy_: **in the back ground** AHH! KEEP THE FUZZY GOLDEN POTATO AWAY!!!

_Emily:_ **((ROFL))**

_Crusnik:_ **((Troy loves skittles, its really funny when you steal them P))**

_Emily:_ **tackles Troy** said potato is looooooooong gone

_Troy_: AHH!!! COOTIES!!!

_Emily:_ I dun got cooties. I got Frankie, though.

_Emily:_ **((I don't know why I said that.))**

_Crusnik:_ **((This going to take forever to edit...better keep going...))**

_Emily:_ **shrugs** OH, well. **dives back into Skittles**

_Crusnik:_ **shakes head while eating part of Emily's share of skittles**

_Tres_: **walks up **Father Nightroad, intrudu---Oh, Skittles. Primitive, yet delicious.

_Crusnik:_ **((what the fuck?))**

_Emily:_ **((I have NO clue.))**

_Crusnik:_ **((lol))**

_Emily:_ **tackles Tres** Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, android!

**_TO BE CONTINUED_**

* * *

SORRY, I would have finished it now...but my friend had to go... '( so I'll finish it in the next chapter, bye for now!! 

**_crusnik_**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer and such are on the first chapter...Blah, Blah, Blah...

AN- HI AGAIN! IM BACK!!! OK...ME AND KAYLA WERE TALKING...AND SHE WANTED ME TO PUT IT ON HERE...SO! HERE IT IS KAYLA...

* * *

(IN RESPONSE TO LAST -**AN**- ABOUT KILLING HER IF SHE LEAVES) 

_Kayla_: But, but, but...I must update my stories. And who will feed my cats and keep Emily under control!

_Crusnik_: You can keep her under control in the little box I will have you locked up in...

_Kayla_: O.o

_Kayla_: NOOO!!!

_Crusnik_: **insert evil laughter here**

_Kayla_: My stories, my cats, my stories!!

_Kayla_: MUST UPDATE!!!

_Crusnik_: here have a laptop **hands her one**

_Crusnik_: update -- or die!!! **evil laughter**

_Kayla_: Ohhh! **effectively shuts up and types away contently on the lap top**

**THE END...

* * *

And thats what Kayla wanted...so...here we go with the little babble story again! **

Random Skittles (continued) 

_**LAST TIME-** Emily:_ **tackles Tres** Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, android!

_**PRESENT TIME-**Tres: Requesting Identification..._

_Emily: _Ah! I'm so hurt! How could you not know my name!?

_Tres: Hurt...? Requesting Damage Report..._

_Emily: **pouts**_ My names Emily...and that hurt!

_Tres_: _Requesting permission to search you for injuries..._

Emily: **gets the biggest smile on her face** OH! Of coarse! go right ahead...is it a strip search by any chance?

_Tres: Negative...A strip search is not necessary...scanning life form for injuries...Scan complete- life from is 100 percent healthy, and is showing signs of Embarrassment ..._

_Emily: **gasps!**_ AM NOT!

_Crusnik:_ ...Emily...leave the poor dude alone would ya?

_Tres:_ _The word 'Dude' is not found in any database...please define..._

_Crusnik: ..._

_Emily: ..._

_Troy: **peaks around a corner with a mouth full of skittles**_

_Emily: **sees Troy**_ MY skittles BITCH!!! **_runs after him_**

_Tres:_ Definition for 'dude' Acknowledged...

_Crusnik_: worried look on face ...uhh...Father Tres...whats the definition for dude?

_Tres:_ MY SKITTLES BITCH!!!!

_**THE END!**_

_

* * *

_

**_The Vampire Mating Call...Gone horribly wrong..._**

_Abel:_VAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIREVAMPIREAMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**no one comes**

_Kayla :_ I think you meant Methuselah...

_Abel:_ never mind that...It should work...I just hope its not Ast-

_**Asta pops out of know were all seductively**_

_Kayla :_ O.o

Abel: **smacks forehead**

_**she sees Abel and gasps in utter horror and humiliation**_

_Kayla :_ Does your Empress know you're out here, young lady?

_Asta:_ m-maybe...

_Asta: **turns to Abel**_ What are you doing here tovarish?

_Asta:_ and what the fuck were you doing OUR mating call for?

_Kayla **(To Asta):**_ Do you really want to know?

_Asta**:turns to kayla**_ OF COARSE!!!

_Kayla: **walks off**_ Okay, but its your sanity...

_Asta: O.O **turns to Abel**_ TELL ME TOVARISH!!!

_Abel: **fumbling for an answer**_ Uh, uh, uh..._**Gets an idea** _Oh...it was a AX assignment!_(yeah, that's __it...)_ We're learning to communicate with our new Methuselah allies... _**laughs nervously**_

_Asta:_ ...fine then...BUT NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!

_**Asta storms off in a huff**_

_Abel:_ Whew!

_**someone is behind him. He turns around, its Cain**_

_Cain:_ Why hello little brother! He smiles sweetly

_**Abel faints**_

_Cain**: Completely confused** :_ What'd I say?

THE END

* * *

**AN**- **smiles** thats another chapter! I had to write this one by myself (well with kayla to but...)she just helpped with the last part...and if there are any spelling mistakes I appoligize...my spell check thingy aint working...so ya...PLEASE REVIEW! (THAT INCLUDES YOU MADDY!)

BYE BYE!

**_crusnik_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN- IM SO SORRY I KNOW I SAID THAT THE MINI STORY -Random skittles- WAS OVER!!! I LIED!!! WELL IT WAS...BUT MY FRIEND KAYLA CAME UP WITH A PREQUEL!!! AND ITS HALARIOUS!AND ITS IN STORY FORMAT. and I didnt tell her I was posting it...I dont think I did anyway...hehe _**

**_HERE IT GOES..._**

* * *

Tres walked into Caterina's office. Everyone was there and looked up. The android was greeted warmly by Leon "Hey, dude, where you been?" He asked, putting a heavy arm around Tres' s shoulder. 

Tres looked confused, "Your statement does not verify. I do not have any skittles on my person..."

Abel looked up at that," Skittles?! WHERE!?" he questioned(more like almost screamed...), mouth drooling.

William seemed worried," Tres...what is the defination for 'Dude'?"

The android looked him straight in the face, calm," MY SKITTLES, BITCH!"

Everyone turned pale; William's pipe fell from his mouth, Caterina's monocle shattered as well as Abel's glasses, Kate's projecter short circuted and she disappeared, and even Hugue's sword snapped in half...

Tres just stared," Requesting reasoning for reactions..."

William was the first to recover. He coughed and slowly walked over to the android," Um...Tres...That defination isn't correct, in fact, its insulting. I'll try to explain the correct one later, alright?" he asked cautiously.

Tres looked at him blankly," Acceptable..."

Gunslinger then marched out the door, and closed it behind him. Everyone relaxed until they heard Emily's high squels coming closer from outside.

Caterina hid her face in her gloved hands," Oh no..."

But it wasn't Emily. Abel and William rushed to the door and opened it to see Tres munching on a bag of skittles with Emily. Both looked up and hissed," MY SKITTLES, BITCH!"

"Wiliam, I thought you clarfied about that little defination," Abel coughed.

William could only stare," I did..."

* * *

**_AND THATS THAT FOLKS!!!! HOPE YOU INJOYED IT!!!_**

**_BYE FOR NOW!!  
_**  
**_crusnik_**


	5. Chapter 5

AN- hello...IM BACK! AND GUESS WHAT? I GOT ANO-w-what? no one new came to join me? Aww...that sucks...wanna know what else sucks? It seems that its only my friends that are actually taking the time to read and review this for me...so...I THANK YOU! I was thinking to myself that the skittles story could most likely become a story if I put enough thought and effort into it, but then I thought, that would ruin the whole idea of babble! So, were ending it where it is.

Sorry for the wait! Stupied fanfiction wouldn't let me update...

Disclaimer and such and such can be found on the first chapter...blah...blah...blah...

* * *

Oh ya, by the way, its Kayla (Mint) here with me today. And Hopefully Emily will join me today also.

* * *

**The Empresses...Guests?**

**(At the palace)**

_Baybars_: Your Majesty, the Vatican has reported strange occurrences of several teenage girls recking havoc on its members. And, to make matters worse, eye witnesses has reported they are now here as well...

**Crusnik pops out of no where**

_Crusnik:_ HIYA SETH!!!! hows my fav little empress been these past 900 or so years?

_Seth:_ **staring at the intruders in shock** How'd you two sneak in here?

_Crusnik_: Easy! We killed all the guards! **smiles**

_Seth:_ O.O

_Baybars:_ O.O

_Crusnik:_ Oh yes, and Abel said to say hi! and he sent me by the way...something about the Vatican and war...and needing your help...

_Seth:_ **startled at this** What? What'd he say? And weren't there two of you reported?

_Kayla:_ **pops out from behind the throne** You got that right! **seems a little hyper for some reason**

_Seth:_ **Startled** Where'd you come from?

_Kayla:_ Oh, I just came in through the back door...

_Baybars_:** WHISPERING to Seth** Does the palace have a back door?

_Crusnik: _It does now!!!

_Baybars:_ O.O H-How did you hear me?

_Crusnik:_ Because I'm a- **Kayla runs over to her and smacks her hand over Crusniks mouth**

_Kayla:_ SHUT UP! you almost gave us away!

_Crusnik:_ O.O **mumbles through Kayla's hand** owsie waisy! **Kayla takes her hand off Crusniks mouth**

_Seth:_ may I please ask you two what your names are?

_Crusnik:_ Its cr- **Kayla's hand went back over her mouth**

_Kayla:_ let me do the talking...OK?

_Crusnik:_ **pouting **ofay...

**Kayla take her hand off Crusniks mouth cautiously**

_Kayla:_ My names Kayla and this is my IDIOT sidekick...

_Crusnik:_** glares** what are you talking about!? I'm not YOUR sidekick! I'M FATEHRS SIDEKICK!!!!!!!

_Kayla:_ Ya, keep dreaming Crusnik...**slaps hand over mouth** Opsie...

_Seth:_ C-Crusnik...**she stands up** Just who are you two...?

_Crusnik: _**glares** smooth move Kayla...smooth move...

_Kayla_: hehe...sorry!

_Seth:_ **glares** Baybars! Capture them for questioning!

_Baybars:_ Yes your Majesty! **he said bowing slightly**

**baybars charged at them using haste**

**Crusnik grabbed Kayla and easily jumped out of the way**

**Seth just watched with wide eyes O.O**

_Crusnik:_ ha! you stupid Methuselah! You cant catch a crusnik! We eat you for dinner!

**Baybars just stopped and looked at them weirdly** Y-Your Majesty?

_Seth_: -.- This is getting annoying...only one way to deal with teenage pre-Armageddon girls...DJ!! TURN ON THE MUSIC!!!

**music starts playing (The hamster dance)**

Alright everybody now here we go.  
It's a brand new version of the dosido.  
Just stomp your feet and clap your hands.  
Come on everybody it's the hamster dance.

Bounce in time to the beat.  
You don't even have to move your feet.  
Just shake your thang; let me see you move.  
Now spin it around and feel the groove.

_Seth:_ **looking irritated** NEXT TRACK!

**a new song starts playing (cascadia)**

CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING!  
CAUSE EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I CAN FLY!  
CANT YOU FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST?  
I WANT THIS TO LAST!  
NEED YOU BY MY SIDE!

_Seth:_ **furious** NEVER MIND!!! ILL DO MYSELF!!!

_Crusnik_: Hey Seth...think you can put the hamster dance on again? I LOVE THAT SONG!

_Seth:_ **O.o** YOU LIKE THAT SONG!? **mumbles** I though only Abel liked it...Ok then...DJ! PUT THE FIRST TRACK ON AGAIN!!

**music starts playing again**

**Crusnik starts randomly dancing to it**

**while shes dancing Seth tells baybars to get her**

_Baybars:_ Of coarse your majesty! That was genius! but...what is that strange noise??

_Seth:_ its called music...its a pre-Armageddon thing...

_Baybars:_ Ah, that explains it...**runs off to capture crusnik**

**Abel pops out of no were**

_Abel:_ CHRISTINA! THERE YOU ARE!!!

**The music comes to a squeaky stop, and crusnik stops dancing immediately**

_Crusnik:_ FATHER!? W-what are you doing here...?

_Abel_: **--** didn't I ask you to deliver a message?

_Crusnik:_ oh ya...hehe I forgot, sorry dad...

_Seth:_ **O.O** DAD!?

_Abel_: oh yes, didn't I tell you Seth? your an auntie!

**Seth faints**

_Baybars:_ YOUR MAJESTY!

_Abel:_ ops...I guess I forgot to tell her...

_Crusnik:_ **--** shes not the only one you forgot to tell...MY AUNT IS THE EMPRESS!?

_Kayla:_ **quietly sits on Seth's throne watching, while eating skittles**

**Emily pops out of no where**

_Emily:_ MY SKITTLES BITCH!!!!!!

_Kayla:_ **O.O** oh shit...

**Runs around the room with Emily chasing after her while baybars is trying to wake up the unconscious empress, Crusnik (or Christina) is yelling at Abel for not telling her that her auntie was the empress of a kingdom...blah blah blah...same old, same old...**

**Kayla and Emily run past Abel and Crusnik in time to hear this-**

_Abel:_ Well I didn't think you wanted to know so bad!

_Crusnik_: Why wouldn't I want to know!? and whats this about you reporting me and Kayla!? what did we do!?

_Abel:_ I didn't do that! It was her Eminence!

_Crusnik:_ ya right! you've always kept secrets from me dad!

**Kayla and Emily pass by Seth and Baybars--**

_Baybars:_ Your Majesty! please wake up! come on...its not THAT bad...hell, I didn't even know you had a brother! let alone a niece...I should be the one fainting! not you! please mi'lady! wake up!

**no response**

**Kayla stops out of breath and Emily latches herself on to Kayla's back**

Emily: GIVE ME THE SKITTLES!!!!!!!!!!!

Kayla: sure! here you go! **hands Emily the skittles**

Emily: **snatches the skittles while getting off Kayla's back** HA! There mine now!!! **dances**

Kayla: Think again!

Emily: huh? **looks at the skittles bag to find that its...** EMPTY!? Thats so unfair!!!! **pouts**

**--MEANWHILE AT THE VATICAN-- **

**-some were in Rome-**

_Leon:_ Hey babe, how you been? You know I missed you while I was gone. **Does his sexy smile**

Random Girl : Aww, thats so sweet! but... I don't even know who you are, you pervert!! and arn't you a priest!? **slaps him across the face with her purse as she continued waking down the street**

Leon: Dam...**rubs his cheek** love really does hurt...

**Leon then walks up to the next unsuspecting woman and trys again...**

THE END

* * *

Sorry if this made practically no sence, but thats why its called babble! and what did you think random was? hehe :P 

anyway! I'm gonna go and...oh you know...do this and that...and blah blah blah...bye!

**runs off to watch TV**

**_crusnik_**


	6. Chapter 6

Hiya everyone!!!Welcome back to Crusnik, thats me, trinity babble!!! First of all I'd love to thank everyone that has reviewed so far! You guys are awesome!!! **hugs everyone** Group hug!

_Kayla:_ -.- hyper much today?

_Crusnik_: Today? I'm always hyper!!! you know that!!

_Kayla:_ I know that but-

_Crusnik_: No buts!! There gross... **giggles**

_Emily_: Hi! whats going on?

_Kayla_: not much...crusnik's just hyper as usual

_Emily_: Kool ! can I join in?

_Crusnik:_ Sure! And guess what?

_Emily_: What?

_Crusnik_: I got lots of skittles!!!

_Emily_: SKITTLESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

off to the side

_Kayla_: Am I the only sane one here...? Anyway, I think where going to get on with the story...if those two hyper friends of mine clam down just a tad!

* * *

Maddy is another one of my friends that will not be leaving any time soon...**'insert evil laughter here'**

* * *

**The Story Without a Name!!** (I cant think of one...)

_Maddy:_ Hello! hello? HELLO!?

**'Looks around'**

_Maddy_: Hmm...I guess no ones here yet...

**'a loud noise is heard in the distance followed by cursing and someone yelling to shut the fuck up'**

_Maddy:_ what the...fuck...?

**'Everyone jumps out of their hiding spots trying to scare her'**

_**BOOOO!!!!!**_

_Maddy:_ **-.-** umm...ya...what are you guys doing?

**'the professor stumbles out of his hiding place holding a mysterious gas type thing in a bottle'**

_Professor:_ Hi! Oh ahh! **'he falls braking the jar, and releasing the gas'**

**'everyone starts coughing, except Maddy, she was smart enough to move out of the way'**

**'The purple gas covers everything, and by time it was gone...'**

_Maddy:_ OMG!!!!! what happened to all of you!?

**'When the gas cleared the first thing she saw was every trinity blood character turned chibi'**

_Maddy_: umm...Is everyone ok?

_Abel_: 'in a REALLY squeaky voice' OMG! what happened to us...OMG! whats wrong with my voice!?

_Cain_: 'in an equally squeaky voice' AHAHAHA You sound funny!! huh? damn it! my voice!! its squeaky to! noo!

_Esther:_ WHHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tres: Beep. Beep. Beep.

_Catherina:_ twes? wats wong? AWK! my voice!

_Abel:_ **'doesn't notice Cain, or his comment'** lady Catherina! You sound like a little girl again!

_Catherina_: Awel!! wads going on?

_Abel_: I don't know...PROFESSOR!!!!

_Professor_: Y-yes...?

_Abel_: What did you do this time?

_Professor_: Well you see I made this chemical to use on Maddy that would make her tell nothing but the truth, then when I tripped and fell...and... shes standing right behind me isn't she?

_Abel_: uhh...ya...

_Maddy_: and just why would you do that?

_Professor_: **'realizes something'** Oh good lord...everyones going to start telling the truth...well, I guess you can get pay back after all!

_Maddy_: **'evil grin'** sweet! All right everyone! come over here and sit in a nice round circle!

**'everyone does as their told'**

_Maddy_: OK! now that everyone is seated, I want to know some things that I have been wondering about, and if your good, I'll let you choice someone else to ask! Just not me, cause I wont tell you a thing.

**'Abel raises his hand eagerly'**

_Maddy_: yes Abel? what is it?

_Abel_: can I go first!?

_Maddy_: we already discussed that! I'm asking the questions until I decide that someone else gets a turn!

_Abel_: Am I being good?

_Maddy_: only if you shut up...

_Abel_: aww...

_Seth_: **'sticks her tongue out'** haha! Abel got in trouble!

_Abel_: **'glares'** Shut up you brat!!

_Seth_: No!

_Cain_: oh! can I join in?

_Abel and Seth_: NOOO!!!!!!

_Cain_:** 'looks hurt'** fine...be that way...

**'Maddy just slaps her for head and slowly sits down'**

_Ion_: leave her Majesty alone!!!

_Seth_: ION!!! GO AWAY!!! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE!!!!

_Ion_: uhh...of coarse your majesty...may I ask one thing?

_Seth_: What is it!?

_Ion_: why is it that you two are fighting as if you two are family?

_Seth and Abel_: BECAUSE WE ARE!!!!!

**'the room falls silent'**

_Cain_: Haha! you two are such idiots...

_Abel_: your one to talk you idiot!

_Seth_: Would you two stop fighting!?

_Abel_ _and_ _Cain_: US!? what about YOU!?

_Seth_: 'glares'

_Abel_: Uhh..hey Cain **'pokes him in the shoulder'**

_Cain_: owch! what...?

_Abel_: look at Seth...shes got to be like one foot tall...

_Cain_: **'looks over'** OMG!!!! ROFLHFAO!!! (roll on floor laughing his fucking ass off)

_Seth_: Whats so funny!?

_Maddy_: EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!! and Seth the only problem is, is that your like up to my knee cap in height...

_Seth_: WHAT!?!?!?!?

_Maddy_: yes, now get over with it! I want some juicy stuff...everyone sit back down... NOW!

** 'everyone sits back down'**

_Maddy_: Now! Tres, who are you in love with?

_Tres_: requesting reso-

_Maddy_: JUST ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION!!!!

_Tres_: my systems state that I am in love with...Sister Kate...

_Kate_: **'blushes'** aww, that so sweet Tres!! I love you too!!

_Maddy_: **'smiles'** ok! next, Ion, what is the most obsessive thing you have ever done?

_Ion_: I once made a shine to Esther and I stalked her trying to get a peak.

_Esther_: **O.O** You did...what!?

_Ion_: It was out of love!!!

_Esther_: I never knew you could do something so!!so!! so...strangely sweet...

_Ion_: **O.O** r-really?

**'Esther and Ion run away together'**

_Maddy_: That was strangely...nauseating...anyway! Prof your next! whats your most secret secret?

_Prof_: Well, one time I blew up Able's room and blamed it on Leon.

_Leon_: YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!! I got tortured for that!!!! **'nervously looks at Abel' 'Abel flashes his fangs'** **'Leon faints'**

_Maddy_: ok...this is really Weird...Catherina's next, whats your most treasured secret?

_Catherina_: For de dast Year I whav been dating Cain...

_Abel_: **O.O**

_Cain_: damn is she ever beautiful without all those clothes on!

_Abel_: **O.O **

_Everyone else in the room_: **O.O**

_Abel_: **'faints, screaming'** CCAAIINN!!!!!!

**TO BE CONTINUED**

* * *

Well this is all I got for ideas today...maybe I can finish this next time... sorry if I disapointed anyone, and maddy was the only frined in this, I wasn even in it...though I didnt wirte the whole thing...anyway! I'll finish the story without a name next time!!

bye!

**'runs off to watch blood-ties'**

**_crusnik_**


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN- Blah Blah Blah..._**

**_

* * *

_**

**_The Story Without A Name_**

_Maddy_- well, now that you've all had a nice long nap! I think its time we continue with the fun.

_Abel_- **raises his hand**

_Maddy_- What now Abel?

_Abel_- **still has the squeaky voice** Is it my turn yet!?

_Maddy_- **twitchy eye** NOO!!!! And since Abel's so eager...Abel, Why did you become a priest?

_Abel_- Cause Catherina forced me to!!!!

_Catherina_- **gasp** I vid not!

_Abel_- yes you did...you forced me to cause I needed to protect you...and they wouldn't let me unless I became a priest...so HA!!

_Catherina_- **-.-** smawt ass...

_Maddy_- Ya… Ok... Next question, even though I already know the answer is probably Lilith. Abel, what's the most important thing to you, which Cain has taken away?

_Abel_- MR.FLUFFULS!!! **Starts crying**

_Maddy_- well then...umm...Abel, who's Mr.Fluffuls?

_Abel_- My Teddy bear!!

_Maddy_- umm...Cain, What did you do to Mr.Fluffuls?

_Cain_- oh, that's an easy one, first of all I poured him in pure gasoline, then I took the lighter to him, turned him into a pile of ashes, mixed it in with dinner and served it to Abel!!!

_Abel_- M-Mr...F-Fluffuls...I-is in my tummy?

_Cain_- nope! He was flushed down the toilet, after dinner, then ejected into space!!

_Abel_- **sniffles** NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Seth_- Cain...

_Cain_- yes?

_Seth_- you're a jerk.

_Cain_- and your a squirt

_Seth_- **twitchy eye**

_Cain_- oh? hit a nerve did I?

_Maddy_- ENOUGH!!!!

**Everyone effectively shuts up.**

_Maddy_**- **now...Seth, What, in the last 900 or so years, was the most embarrassing thing you have ever done to someone?

_Seth_- that's a hard one...hmm...so many choices...I know! How about when I got mad at Ion's great-grandfather, and I made my children give him a swirly!!! No wait...that's not the worst...hmmm... **thinking**

_Ion_- **O.O** Y-your Majesty...?

_Seth_- **ignores Ion and starts mumbling to herself** well there was that one time when I stuck the end of a roll of toilet paper to Ion's grandmother's foot, and she walked around with it unrolling behind her...and also that time I tried to play a prank on Ion...

_Ion_- **O.O**

_Maddy_- oh! That one sounds good, tell me!

_Seth_- hmm? ok! Ion and Esther where walking around in Byzantium and I thought it would be fun to play a prank, so I dressed up in my tea-seller outfit, you know, the really cute one, anyway! I had found this adorable little puppy! I took him to a park, there were lots of mud puddles there, and he walked through them!! So then I decided that I would give him to Ion and Esther! well...anyway, plans changed, when the dog saw Ion, apparently it was his, he jumped on top of him leaving doggy prints all over his noble outfit, all the while licking his face, which he had just cleaned his hinny with, then he jumped on top of Esther leaving even more doggy prints every where, and its not really a prank, but It was funny, and by far, one of the nicer things I've done!

_Maddy_- ok...this is taking forever, lets see, who's next...? How about...Leon?

_Abel_- M-mr.Fluffuls...

_Cain_- laughing at Abel

_William_- He's still unconscious...

_Maddy_- ...fine...what about...Issak?

_Issak_- Hiya Maddy!!

_Maddy_- Ya, hi, Do you love Dietrich?

_Issak_- Hell no! I am not Gay!!

_Dietrich_- **crying** B-but I thought you loved me!!!

_Issak_- **-.-** ...ah...no

_Maddy_- this is getting boring...we need some juicy stuff...Abel, will you shut up!?

_Abel_- M-mr.Fluffuls...

_Maddy_- Abel...

_Abel_- **sniffle** Ya...?

_Maddy_- if I let you have a turn will you be good?

_Abel_- **extremely happy** YAY!!! Ok...lets see...Cain! Do you love Catherina!?

_Cain_- No, but danm is she one sexxi bitch!!

Catherina Blushes

_Cain_- She's sexier then Lilith!

_Abel_- **freezes** what?

_Cain_- Danm rights! I used to take a peak at her all the time when she was in the shower!!

_Abel_- **twitchy** **eye** you basted... ILL KILLS YOU!!!! **Charges at Cain**

_Cain_- **gets pinned to the ground by Abel as they all start turning big again**

_Maddy_- umm Ya...I think its time we take our leave...for good...

_Everyone-_Bye!

_**THE END**_

_(sorry, I know this chapter was crappie, but I ran out of ideas...XD here, have a new story!)_

**_The...umm...I don't know what to call this story._**

_Crusnik_**-faints**

_Kayla_- poke poke

_Crusnik:_ **wiggle**

_Kayla:_ poke poke

_Crusnik:_ **squirm**

_Kayla:_ poke poke

_Crusnik_: **GLOMPS**

_Kayla:_ **faints and dies**

_Crusnik_: HAHA!

_Crusnik:_ poke poke!

_Kayla:_ **doesn't move**

_Crusnik_: I SAID POKE POKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

_Kayla: _**dead**

_Crusnik:_ POKE POKE GOD DANM IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Kayla:_ dead dead gods damn it

_Crusnik:_ POKE, I DONT CARE, POKE, GOD DANM IT!

_Kayla:_ **motionless**

_Crusnik:_ **Kicks**

_Kayla:_ **leaps up and tackles as a Crusnik**

_Crusnik:_ **leaps out of the way**

_Kayla:_ **threatens to bite**

_Crusnik:_ **threatens to bite back**

_Crusnik:_ **flashes fangs**

_Kayla:_ **puppy dog whimper and slinks away**

_Crusnik:_ HA! I win! Now...where did I put my poking stick...

_Kayla:_ **suddenly jumps back and tackles**

_Crusnik:_ ACK!

_Kayla:_ **bites back of neckpulls back, spiting** Hey, where's the candy? Damn cheap Piñata... **storms away, mumbling**

_Crusnik:_ **twitching on the floor mumbling** I aren't no danm piñata...** faints from loss of blood**

_Kayla:_ **shout from other room** Blood?! **Runs back and jumps back on top**

_Kayla:_ **pokes**

_Crusnik:_ **motionless**

_Kayla:_ poke poke

_Crusnik:_ **still motionless**

_Kayla:_ **gives up** Awww...it's no fun when its already dead...** storms off** Some Piñata...

_Crusnik:_ **mumbles while still unconscious** I said I aren't no danm piñata...Abel...Help me...

**Seth pops up instead** Yes?

_Crusnik:_ help me...crazy thing think me a piñata...

_Seth-_ **stiffens** you're a Piñata?

_Crusnik-_ **twitch**

_Seth-_**looks hungry and pounces**

_Crusnik-_AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Kayla-_ **pointing from doorway** Ha! I knew the Piñata wasn't dead!

_Crusnik-_ HELP ME CAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Crusnik-_ HELP ME ABEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Crusnik-_ HELPS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Both twins appear and pause for a minute at the scene before looking just as hungry** PINATA!

_Crusnik-:_ NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**They stop after awhile**

_Seth-_**sniffles, teary eyed** There's no candy...

**Cain and Abel stand up too**

_Cain-_ Some piñata...I'm calling the manager...

**All Crusniks storm off leaving a crime scene behind**

_Crusnik__**-**_**twitch... barely heard** help...me...

_**THE END**_

* * *

**_I know, it was VERY crapy, anyway, hope you still injoyed it..._**

**_bye!_**

**_crusnik_**


	8. Chapter 8

**_Bad Hair Day_**

_Kayla_: help...me...please...someone...  
_Crusnik_: **hugs** stop pressy button!!  
_Kayla_: I can't...Dietrich's controlling me...Bad puppet master!  
_Crusnik_: **kills Di** leave her alone!!!**hugs** better?  
**Isaak pops up** What did you do to my apprentice? **Summons demons and arrows and aims them at you**  
_Crusnik_: **kills Isaak **you only liked him cause he was good in bed anyway!  
**Cain pops up**  
_Crusnik_: Oh! Hi Cain!! I LOVE YOU!!!**runs up and death hugs him**  
_Cain_-**gives Crusnik funny look and scans over his members**  
**shrugs** They were taking up too much space anyway...  
_Crusnik_: **smiles up at him** your so cute! your way cuter than Abel!  
**Abel in other room** HEY!  
_Crusnik_: Abel should cut him hair, and come back and rule the world with you!  
_Abel in other room:_ NEVER! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!  
_Crusnik_: **glares at Abel with a DO-IT-OR-DIE look**  
_Abel_: **sticks his tongue out**  
_Crusnik_: **looks at Cain** Ill be right back **walks into the other room...screaming can be heard...then walks out of the room looking pleased with Abel walking behind her with wide eyes...almost as if he was scared to death...**  
_Crusnik_: Cain! I'm back! and look who wants to join us!  
_Cain_**suddenly uninterested** Never mind. I suddenly don't feel like having accomplices anymore. I work alone now baby!  
_Crusnik_: WHAT!!?  
_Abel_**pouts** Oh man...  
_Crusnik_: Cain! Wait! I got Abel to turn evil and you just walk away?  
_Abel_ : **looks evil**  
_Cain_**looks back at them for a minute before shrugging** Nah...Little bro will cramp my style anyway...  
**begins to walk away**  
_Crusnik_: But what about me? I love you!**starts to get mad**  
_Cain_: All the more reason to leave...  
_Crusnik_: DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT WALKING AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!! **grabs Cain from the front of the shirt and slams him against the wall** I GET WHAT I WANT, AND I WANT **YOU!!!!****fuming**  
_Cain_ **squeaky frightened voice** Okay, okay. I'm yours, just don't mess up my hair!  
_Crusnik_: **smiles victoriously**YAY!! **tackle hugs him...messing up his hair...**  
_Cain_: NOOOO!!!  
_Crusnik_: ops...hehe, my bad! here...just let me fix that for you... **makes it worse**  
_Cain_**looks in mirror and faints in shock**  
_Crusnik_: hehe, mom always said I could never be a hair-dresser...

_**THE END!**_

_**

* * *

**_

**sighs_...I love that story...oh! umm...hehe...hello there. Thanks for reviewing and everything...and I'm gonna start working on another story now so...!BLAH!YOUSAWNOTHING!BLAH!_**

_**HEHE!!**_

**

* * *

**

**_(disclaimer: I do not, repeat, DO NOT own are you smarter that a 5th grader...I'm just borrowing it cause I'm bored and got nutten better to do!)_**

**_this ain't very funny...so just bear with me..._**

**_ITS...CHIBI TIME!!!_**

_Crusnik_: Hello Folks and welcome to Are You Smarter Than A Chibi! I'll be your host, Crusnik.

**crowd cheers**

_Crusnik_: Alright! now for our first Student. Hes a 900 and something year old priest from the Vatican!

**Abel walks in all cheery and stuff**

_Abel_- I use to watch this show when I was younger!

_Crusnik_- Yes...umm, well...Oh! so, this is your 5th grade picture, huh? Pretty cute I might add...

_Abel_- Well...technically I never went to school because I was a super-genius before the age of one day old so...its just a pic of me when I was 10!

_Crusnik_- Ok, well...then this shouldn't be to hard for you...

_Crusnik_- There are 10, grade level questions ranging from 1 to 5. You choose a subject, then if you answer the question correctly, the amount of money you win, goes up. You may choose one of the Chibi students to help you at a time, you may cheat off of them during the coarse of the game.

_Abel_- ya,ya,ya, I know all this! Can't we just play?

_Crusnik_- No! The public doesn't know!! so just be quite!

_Abel_- sorry...

_Crusnik_- now...where was I? Oh yes, choose a student.

_Abel_- Hmmm...how about...Chibi...umm...I don't know their names...

_Crusnik_- Oh, sorry, theres- Di...Isaak...Radu...Kate...Mirka...Asta...and Noelle

_Abel_- how about...Chibi Asta?

_Crusnik_- Asta! please come up!

**crowd cheers and claps**

**Asta stands on her REALLY high pedestal so she can see over the podium**

_crusnik_- Ok, now pick a subject!

_Abel_- Which subjects are you good at Asta?

_Asta_- ...none of them...

_Abel_-** sweat drop **well...I guess I'll go with... Grade 1 spelling!

_Crusnik_- Grade 1 spelling. How many of the letter 'S' is in the following sentence?

-Sally and Susy went Shopping at a Super Store-

_Abel_- **without even thinking about it** six!

_Crusnik_- wow, that was...fast.

**Asta copies Abel's answer and locks in**

_Crusnik_- Asta has now locked in, would you like to lock in your-

**Abel locks it in**

_Crusnik_- Would you let me talk for once?

_Abel_- Next question! Next question!

_Crusnik_- Six is...Correct! you now have 1000 dollars!

_Abel_- W00T W00T!!! I'M RICH!!!

_Crusnik_- **slaps for head...**This is going to be a looong day...

_Abel_- Umm...grade 1...animal science!

_Crusnik_- Which country did Lions used to live in?

_Abel_- **without thinking again** Africa!

_Crusnik_- That is...correct...you now have 2 thousand dollars...and I got a head-ake...

_Crusnik_- ok Asta has...not been much help, choose another student!

_Abel_- Chibi Di!

_Di_- YAY!! I WAS PICKED!!! I WAS ACTUALLY PICKED!!!

_Abel_- So how about grade 2...US history!

_Crusnik_- **sigh... mumbles 'hes stealing my job...'** the question is...what was the current president of the US when this show originally aired?

_Abel_- come on! Give me a challenge! it was George W Bush!

_Crusnik_- Correct...yet again...you now have...5 thousand dollars...

**Abel and Di Hi-five**

_Abel_- Grade 5...world history!

_Crusnik_- Finally! something good! The question is... during the Armageddon, how many humans where estimated to be killed by Contra Mundi?

**Di locks in**

_Abel_- **freezes up **uhh...I... guess...a lot?

_Crusnik_- Would like to peak at Di's paper?

_Abel_- Yes please!

_Crusnik_- Di has written, 'unknown'...would you like to use his answer or use your own?

_Abel_- Di's answer!

_Crusnik_- ... arn't you going to lock that in?

_Abel_- Oh! Right...sorry. **Abel locks in**

_Crusnik_- Correct! You now have 25,000 dollars! If you get the next one right, you will have a guarantied 25 thousand!

_Crusnik_-... You look pretty upset about that last question...do you wanna keep going? or do you want to drop out with 5 thousand dollars?

_Abel_- Grade 5 math!!

_Crusnik_- you need to choose a new student still...

_Abel_- Umm...chibi Isaak!

_Crusnik_- alrighty then...you sure made a miraculous recovery... **clears throat** the question for math 5 is...

- If you add 89 to 7 then divide by 3 and multiply by 44 what is the answer?-

_Abel_- **Without even thinking** 1,408!

_Crusnik_- Theres no way you could have gotten that right so fast! **looks at the answer sheet walks over to the wall and bangs her head against it continuously **you...are...correct...you now have 50,000 dollars...

**Abel goes to high five Isaak but he just stares at him with a THERES-NO-WAY-I'M-DOING-THAT kind of look.**

_Abel_- Ummm...grade 4...US geography!

_Crusnik_- Lets see here...ah here we are! The question is...what ocean did most of the states run along?

_Abel_- The Atlantic Ocean!

_Crusnik_- **Puts a fist up in the air happily saying** Correct! Bye Bye Isaak!

**Isaak goes back to his seat**

_Abel_- how about chibi mirka?

_Mirka_- **smiles**

_Abel_- grade 3...World geography!

_Crusnik_- the question is...in what ancient city is the Nile River located?

_Abel_- Egypt!

_Crusnik_- correct! You now have 100,000 dollars! Your just rippin through these questions! W00T! Keep it up!

_Abel_- **getting existed** Grade 2...Art!

_Crusnik_- When you mix red and white together, you get what color?

a) white

b) pink

c) red

d) green

_Abel_- PINK! AHHH!!!! **hides behind the pedestal while hitting the lock in ****button**

_Crusnik_- O.O umm...correct...you now have 175,000 dollars...

**Abel slowly pops out from behind the pedestal.**

_Abel_- umm...chibi Radu! grade 4- Science...

_Crusnik_- alright! What is number 10 on the periodic table of elements?

_Abel_- Neon!

_Crusnik_- Correct! You now have 300,000 dollars!!!!!

_Abel_- YAY! NO MORE 4 DINARS FOR ME!! umm...Grade 3 Health

Cr_u_snik- the question is...True or False- Milk helps you to grow taller.

_Abel_-True!

_Crusnik_- Correct! You now have half a million dollars!! Would like to answer the million dollar question? once you see it you HAVE to answer it. you can see the subject, but thats it.

_Abel_- Lets see the subject

_Crusnik_- Grade 5 -New Human Empire!!

_Abel_- LETS DO IT!

_Crusnik_- OK! smiling the question is... What is the TRUE NAME of the Empress?

_Abel_- Thats an easy one its---

**Seth's little voice inside of Abel's head** Please don't do it big brother!!

_Abel_- but I want the million dollars...

_Seth_ **(inside his head)** don't talk out loud you idiot!

_Abel_- Sorry...

_Seth_- ...Nvm...do what ever you want... **leaves Abel's head**

_Crusnik_ **waving hand in front of Abel's face** hello? Earth to Abel!! You alive in there?

_Abel_- Huh? Oh! Umm, Seth! **accidentally leans on the lock in button covers mouth** OH NO! WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!

_Crusnik_- YOU JUST WON ONE MILLION DOLLARS THATS WHAT YOU JUST DID!!!!

_Abel_- **forgets about Seth and grins like an idiot**

**_TO BE CONTINUED (maybe)_**

* * *

**I hope you liked it... I spent two days on this one...anyway! If you want me to continue the smarter then a chibi, just tell me in your review and I will try and do so! PX it was harder that I thought it would be...**

**Thanks for taking the time to read my nonsense! hope you enjoyed it, and I'll see you next time!**

**Bye!**

_**-Crusnik and the gang-**_


	9. Chapter 9

**AN**-Hello, these are just funny little one-shots I came up with and decided I would post it for my lovable reviewers! D Kayla helped me with the last one BTW. The other two I did by myself.

**Warning**- It's in script format (the first and third one are anyway)

**Parings-** none

**Summar****ies**-Read and find out:D

_**IMPORTANT **__**Notes**_: Nii-san means Big Brother, and Seth is wearing her tea seller out-fit in the first and second one, the third she's in her empress outfit. The first one takes place pre-manga and the last two take place after chapter 35 of the manga if Abel had decided to stay in Byzantium instead of going back to the Vatican. Oh ya, and in the first one, don't mind the food thing...I was starving when I wrote that...

**These are actions**

**_The Empress Attacks...The AX!?_**

_Seth-_ **wakes up just outside the Vatican gates** Hmm? The Vatican? Why am I here? **looks around**** and shrugs** Might as well visit Nii-san while I'm here! **tries to sneak past the guard but steps on a twig**

_Vatican Guard_- **wakes up as a twig snaps** Huh? Who goes there!? **he points his gun at Seth**

_Seth_- **smiles sweetly** I'm Seth! Just a pretty little girl!

_Vatican Guard_**-****cautiously Lowers ****weapon** Why are you here?

_Seth_- I've come to visit Nii-san!

_Vatican_ _Guard_- Nii...san???

_Seth_- All right, now that that's settled, Time for you to go back to sleep! **looks around** Ah! **picks up a ****big ****rock** hehe... **hits the Vatican guard on the head **ouch, that's gotta hurt... **picks him up and puts him back on his chair so it looks like he's sleeping**

_Seth_-** smiles **much better** walks into the Vatican** hmm...I wonder where Nii-San is...

**Seth walks along, not paying attention to where she's ****going** Hmm...Huh? OWIEEE!!!! **walks face first into a brick ****Wall **owchie...wha? **looks up to see a priest looking down at her with one eye blinking red**

_Tres_- Requesting Damage report

_Seth_-** blink**...What are you made out of!? Steel!? That hurt!

_Tres_- Negative, I am made out of Iron.

_Seth_- Well of course you are, all humans have Iron in their body...wait...did you say made out of?

_Tres_- Positive.

_Seth_- **sweat drop** are you a robot or something?

_Tres_- Negative, I am an android.

_Seth-_ same thing Einstein

Tres- My indicators state that they are not the same th-

Seth- shut up… **looks around for something****…**** anything…**

Tres- Requesting reasoning for why you are shifting your gaze.

Seth- Oh, no reason in particular…it's just…

Tres- ?

Seth- **makes a shocked face and points into the sky** what's that? It's huge!

Tres- **Glances upwards**

Seth- **grins evilly and kicks him as hard as she can right in the gut**

**Tres goes flying into ****a random**** wall****, and I don't know where it came from...so dont ask...**

Seth- **smiles** well, that takes care of that annoying robot… I wonder where brother is…

Tres- 1.78 seconds to fast...system failure… **goes all twitchy**

Seth-**goes walking off into the Vatican**

_**-After awhile of walking around-**_

**Seth was innocently walking through the hallways when a door opened and nearly slammed right into her face. She squeaked and jumped out of the way**

Seth- **she looked around the door ready to pound who ever did that when she realized****-** uhh...ok...that's not normal...doors just don't open by themselves...

WWW- **pops up behind Seth** Hello Little Lady! **bends down so he'll make eye contact when she turns around** my name is William Walter Wordsworth! Nice to make – **Seth ****turns**** around**** real fast****'****accidentally****'**** punching him in the face**-acquaintance with your fist... **twitchy eye**

Seth- **plays innocent** Oh! You Scared me...I'm sorry, it was an accident! **trembling lip **Please don't be mad at me... **eyes start to water**

WWW- Ack! Don't cry! Please don't cry! **trying to calm down Seth**Uhh...I know! How about you come into my office here and I'll give you some candy!

Seth- **still fake crying** O-ok...You first...

WWW- Ah! Smart little lady! You never know if one of my inventions is going to blow up! ...Again... **starts to walk into his room but stops and turns around in the doorway when-**

Seth- **innocently** Mr. William...

WWW- Yes?

Seth- **smiles evilly **Your an idiot... **slams the door right in his face...literally...**hehehe...though maybe I should have gotten the candy first... **hears a groan and a thump inside**** as he falls to the ground unconscious** well, that takes care of him...now...Abel better be here...or I'm gonna kill him...

_**-Continues walking around-**_

Seth- **tummy rumbles** I'm so hungry... and thirsty...where's some tea when you actually need it??

Kate- pops up out of thin air right in front of Seth

Seth- O.o?

Kate- **doesn't notice Seth and**** starts**** mumbl****ing**** to herself** Why are men such jerks! Like really I mean why must the always act like idiots around here? I've been finding them unconscious everywhere tonight!! There probably drunk... **pours a cup of tea and takes a sip** Ahhh...delicious!

Seth- **mouth watering **O.O uhh, miss-?

Kate- **finally notices Seth **Oh! Um...Hello! Sorry if you heard my useless mumbling... hmm? What's wrong? **sees Seth holding her stomach, drooling while staring at the cup of tea**

Seth- Miss...?

Kate- Oh! Sister Kate at your service!

Seth- Miss Kate...Can I have a cup of tea...? I'm starving...

Kate- Oh you poor thing! Of course you can! **gets her a plate with a cup of tea and some sweets on it**

Seth- Thank you!! **takes it**

**Seth ****eats the food and drinks the tea so fast that Kate's tea cup fell out of her hands and smashed on the floor**** as she stared at her with an open mouth**

Seth- That was delish! Thanks!! **runs off, mumbling when around the corner** Too bad she's a hologram, I can't knock her out... **chuckles** she thinks they're drunk...

**walks into a random person walking through the halls**

Seth- Ow!

Random person-Oh! Sorry, didn't see you there... **chuckles**

Seth- Why?? Cause I'm SHORT!?

Random person- well yes, but to say that would be mean, and-

Seth- **sacks him**r ead my lips**-** I. A.M. N.O.T. S.H.O.R.T!!!!!!! **storms off leaving the man curled up on the floor**** twitching (****_AN-she kicks real hard, remember what she did to Tres? And that was when she was happy...this was when she was mad...poor dudes probably neutered...)_**

**_-Storms off-_**

_Seth-**S****torms past Catherina office punching the door**** in**** as she walks by**STUPIED TERRANS!!! I AM NOT SHORT!!! I'm just vertically challenged..._

_Catherina- **sticks her head out the door **Umm...Young lady?_

_Seth- **turns around looking pissed off and ready to kill someone** WHAT?_

_Catherina- **flinches** did you by any chance do this to my door?_

_Seth- And if I did?_

_Catherina- Well, nothing, I was just wondering..._

_Seth- Then Yes, I did, now leave me alone! I'm trying to find my stupid Nii-San!!_

_Catherina- Nii-san? What's that mean? **steps out into the hallway**_

_Seth- It means Big Brother! Why does everyone ask me that!?_

_Catherina- Who's your big brother...?_

_Seth- Abel! Now can I go and find the idiot?_

_Catherina- O.O A-Abel...has a little sister...?_

_Seth- I'm leaving... **leaves**_

_**Catherina**** slowly walks back into her office and sits down with this expr****e****ssion plastered onto her face- O.O **_

**_-Seth finally calms down, just a tad as she walks around-_**

_Seth- **mumbling to herself **Maybe I'll try a different approach..._ **sees a big gruff man**_ Hi!!_

_Big gruff man- uhh...hi?_

_Seth- I'm looking for Abel, have you seen him?_

_Big Gruff Man- whys such a pretty young woman like yourself looking for father four eyes when you can have me, Leon?_

_Seth- Keep dreaming, now, tell me where he is before I kill you... **glares as her eyes turn blood red and she bares her fangs**_

_Leon- B-bathroom...down the hall...third door on the right... **O.O**_

_Seth- Thank-You!** smiles as she skips away**_

_Leon- Abel...You can have her... **twitchy eye**_

**_-Seth runs off down the hall-_**

_Seth- Third door on the right...one...two...Ah! Here we are, men's bathroom... **sweat drop** this is going to be so nasty... **plugs nose and**** cautiously**** walks in **Aww nasty! It stinks in here!!_

_**The room is still and quite**_

_Abel- Seth...Seth...wake up...Seth..._

_Seth- Huh? Wake Up? Abel! Where are you? **grabs her head as she falls onto her knees** Ah...What's going on? ...I feel...dizzy...falls onto the floor_

_**everything goes black**_

_**Seth wakes up to find Abel looking at her**_

_Abel- Your awake!! **all cheery**_

_Seth- Huh? ...what happened??_

_Abel- What do you mean what happened?? Miss Asta and I saw you collapse in the city square! ...You alright?_

_Seth- But I thought...I...I...I was in the Vatican...and I meet a bunch of people...and this one dude named Leon was hitting on me and-_

_Abel- WHAT!? ILL KILL HIM!!!_

_Seth- O.o?_

_Abel- **growling** Ill kill that little pervert...no one hits on my baby sister and lives to tell about it..._

_Seth- O.o **smiles** You havent changed a bit! **hugs** And who are you calling a baby?_

**_THE END! _**

_**AN-aww what a sweet little ending...YES! ok! I admit it! im as hyper as a hyper kitten that just got into a bag of sugar and then found the stash of kat-nip!!! weeee: D say that fast, its fun! onto the next story!!! BLAHAHAHAHA!!!**_

_**

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**_

_**Abel the Squirrel**_

_**A short little ONESHOT made by Crusnik02 for all of her devoted readers**_

Abel Nightroad was walking down the streets of Byzantium on a mission for the Vatican, minding his own business when a little silver furred Squirrel scurried by his feet and he heard his name being called. So, naturally, he turned around just in time to see a young girl with black hair and green eyes run past him. She seemed familiar to him somehow...

She bent down low and caught the little squirrel in her delicate pale hands as she said to it, while making a kitty like face, "Abel! Quit running away from me would you?" She stood up straight as her gaze drifted onto the tall priest. She quickly noted that he looked very confused, "Nii-San! Meet Abel!" She said cheerfully while holding the little squirrel out to him.

"Seth? Is that really you? You haven't gown an inch! You're still a little squirt!" he replied with a silly grin on his face completely ignoring the squirrel that shared a name with him as he patted her on the head.

Seth glared at him as a vain pulsed on her head and Abel quickly removed his hand as he chuckled nervously.

"Tovarish? What are you doing here?" Asta asked as she walked up behind him. Abel quickly took this as a means of escape and ducked behind her faster then she could ever have hoped to see, "T-Tovarish? Wha-?" she stopped short as she looked down to see Seth death glaring at her...well...through her to the person hiding behind her. She looked at the girl with interest and winked as she quickly stepped to the side. The girl than death tackled Abel.

Abel screamed a very high-pitched girly scream as he was tackled to the ground, "AHHHHH!!!!!!"

Seth was than sitting on his chest pinning him to the ground as she sighed, "Nii-san?"

"...Owchie...what?" he mumbled as he held his head with his hand.

"What's wrong?"She asked looking at him with concern.

He just looked at her with a -'I'm-almost-dead-from-a-death-tackle-what-do-you-think?' type of look and said, "Nothing...nothing at all..."

_**THE END **_

_**(...This story has information needed to understand whats going on in Squirrel trouble...)**_

_**

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**_

**Squirrely Trouble  
**

Abel: **Runs in screaming **AHHHHHHHH! SAVEME!!!!!!!! ITS GONNA KILL ME!!!!**(Hides behind Seth****  
**  
Nobles: O.o?

**Seth looks over at her brother while court stares in shock  
**

Seth: Abel? Um...what's wrong with you??

Abel: **Points towards the door: **Its gonna eat me...

**Everyone looks towards the door, some glancing back at Abel, wondering why he is hiding behind their empress  
**

**'Abel' appears at the door and chirps. Abel squeaks and goes back behind Seth in sheer terror  
**

Abel: Its gonna eat me!

**Squirrel scampers in and climbs onto Seth's shoulder. Seth pets the white rodents before it looks down at Abel, sniffing  
**

Abel: Ahhh! **Screams and falls on his ass as he tries to scoot away but ends up running into the legs of none other than Asta herself**

Seth: **Stares at her brother in bewilderment before glancing at Asta** Oh, hello duchess. Apparently, your torvasish is afraid of rodents...

Abel: Keep it away from me! **Hugging Asta's legs for dear life**

Asta **Pries priest off her leg** Abel, snap out of it. **Knocks him on the head**

Abel: Owie...Seth...why'd you have to name that thing after me anyway? You know I don't like little fuzzy things...that move...and bite...and scratch.…And.…bite...

Seth **Continues to pet 'Abel'**: Cause he reminded me of you. I missed you, you know. 900 years and not a word... **Becomes a little sad**

Abel: I missed you too but...I didn't go naming evil little critters after you...

Asta **Confused**: Wha-? 900 years? Abel, aren't you a terran? You two knew each other beforehand? This doesn't make sense...

Abel: Oh yes! I've known her, her whole life! And I'm in fact almost 1000 years old!** Goofy grin** She's my little sister!

Seth **Stiffens and hisses**: Abel!

Abel: **Confused:** What'd I say?

One of the nobles **Murmurs**: Her Majesty has a bro-brother?

Abel: **Hears** Oh shit...

Asta **Stares at Abel in shock:** Tovarish?

Abel: **Runs over to Seth: **I'm sorry, I didn't mean to! **Remembers that the squirrels still there and takes a few steps back. Turns head to look at Asta** Yeah?

Asta: You're our Empress's brother? Older brother, even? Why didn't you tell me? I can't believe this...

Abel: Oh yes...that... Yes! That's it! Don't believe it! Don't believe a word I said! **Whispers **if you do Seth will kill me for this...

Seth **Glares and whispers**: Damn right...

Abel: **stiffens while he laughs nervously:** You heard the girl...uh I mean, empress! None of this ever happened! **Nervously looks at squirrel while he scoots past Seth cautiously heading for the door** It never happened! **Opens the huge, and heavy, doors like they where mere feathers** None of it ever happened! **Runs through the doors and jumps through the window off a cliff into the sea all dramatically**

Court: O.o… You heard him...none of this ever happened... its all-just a bad dream... yeah that's it... **Random chatter**

Seth **Shakes her head**: What is it with him with jumping out of windows to fall down hundred-foot cliffs? I knew Lilith shouldn't have let him watch all those action movies...

Asta: O.O T-Tovarish...?

Seth: Well it seems like you found quite the catch.

Asta: S-so it's all true your highness?

Seth: Shhhh!!!

Asta: **Flinches **Sorry... **Starts to whisper everything she says to her while covering the side of her mouth with her hand **Is it?

**'Abel' innocently scratches ear  
**

Seth: **Does the same as Asta**: Yes, he's my older brother. Seems fate has brought us together once more. He's not as clumsy as he looks. I'm glad he loosened up a bit, not too much though I hope.

Asta: S-so...MY Tovarish...the one that I always torment...is royalty?

Seth **smiles evilly**: Yes, and for that little confession, I think you earned yourself a night in the dungeons...

Asta: Wha- Y-your highness? **Standing up straight almost yelling**

**Court stares  
**

Asta: Wha-? But I-...Why your highness?

Seth: For tormenting one of your rulers...

Asta: But I didn't know! I swear! And trust me! He deserved it!

**The court doors open and two guards walk in carrying the drenched Abel** Your highness! We saw this man jump out of the palace window, and we later found him washed up on the shore...what shall we do with him your highness?

Abel **slightly limps, while waving at Seth**: Hey, Seth...Didn't know I'd be dropping in again so soon.

**'Abel' jumps off Seth's shoulder and climbs up Abel. Abel laughs nervously as he looks at 'Abel' sitting on his shoulder with wide eyes. He makes not even a sound, standing perfectly still**

Squirrel Abel: Squeak!

Asta: **Sweatdrop**

**Court watches, turning their heads as Abel runs across the room and back a few times, all the while screaming like a baby.  
**

Abel: **Stops in front of Asta jumping up and down like a hyper kid in a candy store** GET IT OFF! PLEASE!!ASTA HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!!!

**Asta reaches out hand to get the rodent. It climbs into her sleeve  
**

Asta: Ah! Get it out!

**Asta panics as the thing climbs about. Seth stands up and whistles  
**

Seth: Here, Abel...

**Squirrel's head peeks out from the front of Asta's shirt. Asta shivers while nervously laughing 'Abel' jumps down and runs over to Seth, who picks it up. She holds it to her chest and starts petting it  
**

Abel: **Sees squirrel and runs behind Asta **Be merciful master of fear...

Seth **Looks down at rodent**: Sorry in advance...

Asta: Eh?

Seth **Smiles evilly before she tosses the squirrel at her brother: **Catch!

Abel: **Catches out of reflex** AHHHHH! O.O **Tosses it at Asta**

Asta: Not me! **Tosses it back to Abel**

Abel: I don't want it! **Tosses it back at Asta**

Asta: Yuck! **Accidentally throws it on the court table. Screams are heard as it scrambles about; chairs are heard being pushed back**

Asta **Blinks at the panic**: Ops...

Abel: Well, at least it's gone...

Seth: Abel! Go and get him before he gets hurt!

Abel: But, I wasn't the one wh-

Seth: Now!

Abel: **Flinches**

Seth **Turns to Asta** Oh, and duchess...

Asta: **Nervous** Yes?

Seth: Go to your room...and I don't mean your mansion...

Abel: **Runs off to find 'Abel' before he's killed**

Asta: But...

Seth: No buts, I'm sure the guards will be happy to escort you…

**Asta is escorted to the dungeons. She waits in her cell for a few minutes before Abel comes to visit her. He unlocks the cell and steps in. Seth sneaks up behind him and shuts the door and locks it  
**

Abel **bewildered**: Hey!

Seth **Has something behind her back**: Present for ya. **Pulls out 'Abel' with an evil look. Waits a minute before looking down at the rodent and smiling again. Tosses squirrel in  
**

…_and so ends these tales of mischief, with screams echoing out of the dungeon for miles around… _

_

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_

**AN- I must say I'm sort of disapointed with the outcome of thsi chapter, i was hoping it would be funnier...well maybe ive just read them to many times...anyway! Thanks for your help Kayla (WinterShadow) **

**Please tell me what cha think, oh ya, and im posting the new chapter of back to the past right after this so...check it out: D**

**bye**

**crusnik**


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